I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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