just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
