He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize