he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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