Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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