he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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