never play flip cup with pint glasses
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
They are going to name an STD after you.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
