Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
