Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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