On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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