Me too!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize