Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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