Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
