why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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