Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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