I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
