I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
