She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
