why do cheetos always look like penises
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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