who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I had to cum in my sink.
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