I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
People in love make me want to vomit
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
