Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
