just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
