Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
