Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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