Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
