I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
