I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
