Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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