Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
