If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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