Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My vagina just recognized that song.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
