the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
