You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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