How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
