Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
