What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
