I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
