Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
