I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
