Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
