I should be sponsored by Trojan
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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