IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
