i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
