I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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