the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
only if we run a train.
done.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Acid is not a monday night drug
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
