Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
