The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Someone came in the potted fern
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
