I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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