puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
