chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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