OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize