used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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