i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I deserve this hangover.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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