it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
it glows. i had to have it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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