Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
