I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
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