Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
