I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
