that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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