His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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