i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
