I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
