Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
