Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize