he puts the penis in happiness.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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