Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize