HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
